Interesting Thing I Learned From Vince
December 7, 2011
Starting Small
December 9, 2011

Speer’s Edge: Approach Anxiety

Lets try to come to the bottom of it!

Why have Approach Anxiety?
If you walk up to a girl and she says, “Get out of my face!”

What happens to you?
NOTHING. Perhaps if you are with your buddies you lose a little face but realize that I as a MPUA approach hundreds of girls and out of those hundreds I get hundreds of numbers, but my conversion rate is not hundreds. It’s roughly about 10% and this is because I do not want to spend the time and effort on any of this girls. I am simpley not looking for a relationship! I could have a much higher conversion rate if I chose to, but I choose to approach hundreds of girls a week and get 10 girls into my bed. Why should I go through the trouble of finding the perfect girl? I currently have 8 girlfriends and it makes no sense to me to put a lot of my time and effort to find the “perfect one” at this current stage in my life. I would rather pick up a wave of girls and go surfing instead of spending the time on one. This does not have to be the way you think but I would recommend it be that way just until you get over your approach anxiety.

Mystery has gone well over 10k approaches. I go out at least 10 to 15 nights out of a month. Look at cold approaches like a video game, where you are continually hitting ‘Restart Level’, until reaching a new level, and starting all over again. With each time you progress you will become more confident in your approach and learn a new skill set.

If you’re frustrated with the progress you’re making or not making, ask yourself how many cold approaches have you done in the last week. 1? 10? 100? It would be easy to think that this figure is dependent on your PUA level, but it does not. It’s truly dependent on your commitment to improve your game.

Any guy can walk down a street and say hi to 100 sets a day, but its a little tricker opening 100 sets and having them hook. The fact of the matter is if the sets hook then you will not be able to talk to 100 of them because you will not have the time. Since a well run set is roughly between 30 to 45 minutes.

Why should you feel or fear anything?
The truth of the matter is that we all do not like getting rejected but it’s in the nature of the game. The fact is that she could be rejecting you for multiple reasons.

Here are only a few:
-She’s having a bad day!
-She just got into a huge fight with her mom/aunt/sister/ or other family member.
-It is an auto response since she gets approached many times a day.
-You seem too clingy.
-You seem like a try hard.
-You have not made her feel comfortable.
-They are having a horrible hair day.
-You’re telegraphing too much interest.

I could go on but let me just get to the bottom of it. Most of the reasons have nothing to do with you if you’re approaching correctly. So don’t sweat it and move on to the next set.

I want to hear from you guys. The fact of the matter is that there is no magic pill I can give you that will allow you to conquer approach anxiety. You must be out there infield giving it your best until the fear is alleviated, and believe me it never really disappears but it does diminish quite a bit. Once that happens you are on a new playing ground.

So the bottom line is study, train, study, train, study, train and get yourself out there. Play the game and truely enjoy the time spent playing it.
Speer =—>