Everyone’s heard the saying ‘nice men (or women) finish last’. If you’ve been in this position, it’s like being late for work, even though you left your house early. Or getting sick after eating food from your favorite restaurant. You did everything you normally would do to impress someone, but you ended up empty-handed. Whether you’ve been the one who left behind a good one, or been the one left behind, here’s five reasons why nice guys/girls finish last:
1. Putting the wrong person on the pedestal. Often we feel like the person of our desire is so great, and so we’re wondering why they don’t want us back because we’re so wonderful too. People are often a reflection of the people they chose to be in their life. So if you see a “good person” go for something lower, chances are he or she isn’t quite ready for what you have to offer.
2. Trying to change people. As a nice person you want to believe that your kindness will rub off on everyone. But you can’t make a someone change their mind about wanting you or make them treat you better because you treat them well. It’s really a decision a person must make on their own.
3. Believing that being nice is enough. Sometimes it’s not that you’re nice that doesn’t get the person’s attention, it’s that the person just isn’t feeling you like that. Compatibility and the sharing of similar interests are what attracts people, not just being nice. You can be nice but he or she could have found someone who was nice and who has much more similar interests.
4. Remaining in denial until it’s too late. Often when we like people we do just that – we LIKE them. Our feelings turn into actions and it gets harder when they don’t respond to what you’re trying to show them. But it is what is. It’s human nature to want what we can’t have and to chase it. If you can’t see that a person is not feeling you from the jump, you could try to wait around in hopes that you can change their mind. But you have to accept that it just might not work out and that there’s a possibility they will go for someone else.
5. Bad stuff happens to good people too. Unfortunately that’s how everything works. Even good people have their heartbroken, no one is safe. However that doesn’t mean you place yourself in a victim role. Everyone isn’t going to be ready for what you have to offer. We all go through it one time or the other, so you have to take these Ls and move forward. Every person you meet is not meant for you.
“We love those who hurt us and Hurt those who love us”