Compliance Tests
April 9, 2012
Hitting the Field is The Same as Getting My Fix!
April 11, 2012

One night we’re out and Brady and I pull these two Canadian girls from a club near Coconut Grove, but we didn’t really have any place to bring them besides my mom’s couch or the back of Brady’s store. One of the girl’s father had a yacht parked nearby, but we couldn’t take them there because he was on it with some friends.

We stopped by several hotels in the area, but they only had penthouses left for about $500 for the night. Fuck that, we could’ve bought hookers for that price. I’ve never actually paid for sex, but that’s just the analogy that ran through my head. So we just kept walking along this stretch of bars in Coconut Grove.

“Oh my God, that’s Lovedrop,” Brady said to me suddenly, referring to one of Mystery’s instructors.

“Lovedrop? what kind of name is that,” I said. “Don’t any these guys have normal fucking names?”

“Shut the fuck up, you know what that means?” Brady asked me. “Mystery is here.”

So Brady and I had our girls wait for us while we went up to Lovedrop, who was walking around outside this bar kind of aimlessly, probably looking for a set. He was kind of chubby with long curly hair. Kind of looked like Gargamon from the smurfs.

Brady talked to him for a little, asking pickup questions. Then we told him we wanted to meet Mystery.

“How long have you been doing this?” he asked both of us.

“Two weeks,” I said. “But I’ve been picking up girls for awhile.”

He laughed a little.

Then Lovedrop said he had to test us before he would let us get anywhere near Mystery. So Brady and I started opening. I number closed right there, and Lovedrop seemed pretty impressed, so he agreed to tell us where to find Mystery.

We went inside a bar, leaving our girls outside, and there he was, sitting on a barstool at this table. I had never seen a picture of him or anything, but Mystery fit his description in The Game to a tee, wearing a big furry top hat with his nails painted black. We went up and introduced ourselves to him. He was sitting at a table with this blond-haired, blue eyed, fair-skinned, large-breasted woman, who seemed pretty drunk.

I just kind of made small talk with Mystery, told him I recently read The Game. I acted like a little bit of a noob, I guess. Brady went back outside to stay with the girls.

We’re talking and suddenly Mystery says: “I’m Mystery. Why don’t you treat me like I’m a celebrity?”

I’m not the type of person who gets starstruck around anybody. Throughout my acting career I’ve worked with directors including Wes Craven and Michael Mann, and talents like Luke Wilson. They’re no different than anyone else to me, including Mystery.

“I could treat you as a talent or I could treat you as a friend,” I told him bluntly. “You choose.”

By answering him that way I wasn’t trying to establish myself as the alpha male of the group (AMOG) or anything, it’s just that many of the celebrities I’ve worked with have a lot of attitude. I do too, which is why I’m not always likeable. Sometimes I can seem abrasive, or like an ass, that’s just the way I am. But I come from a good place, and I’m alright with people who may not like me.

The blonde Mystery was with kept hitting on me, maybe because I introduced myself as a television producer.

“We should party together,” she kept saying. But I was there to meet Mystery so I didn’t pay much attention to her. And by the way, for those of you who don’t know exactly what “party” means in Miami, it’s when you go somewhere, do drugs and fuck, to be perfectly blunt.

Then I steered the conversation toward Brady’s and my logistics with the Canadian girls.

“We have these two Canadian girls and they’re ready to go, I just don’t have a spot,” I said.

“You could come to my mansion,” Mystery offered, speaking loud enough for his girl to hear. “You could even use my room, but I don’t think you’ll need to.”

I guess that might have been his way of AMOGing me after his girl was giving me indicators of interest (IOI).

“No, it’s a done deal,” I insisted. “I just need a place.”

“We’re going to leave in a half hour, can you wait that long?” he replied.

Brady and I didn’t want to wait that long.

“How about you give me your number and if you’re home I’ll call you if we still can’t find a place,” I said.

Mystery paused.

“OK. I’ll give it to you,” he finally said. “But don’t give it to anyone, there’s a lot of people who want my number.”

I didn’t know anyone who would have wanted Mystery’s number anyway, or would have even known who he is.

I called him later that night and told him Brady and I weren’t going to make it to his place. He told me about a party he was hosting Sunday, and said to bring girls. At this point, I had a pretty good social circle consisting of some of the most beautiful models and actresses in South Florida, but I was reluctant to bring them into this new world I was a part of.

The two Canadian girls, Brady and I walked back to my car. I gave Brady a blanket and told him to take his girl to the beach, even though it was pretty cold that night. I ended up fucking my girl in the backseat of my car for a little over a half hour. Brady came back to my car with his girl about 15 minutes before we were done. Later he told me he got head, but it didn’t seem like it to me. I’m pretty sure he was trying to boast since he knew I got laid.

We dropped the girls back in Coconut Grove, and Brady and I went to this pizza place around 3 a.m. We each ate a slice and just kind of ran through the night. I was pretty excited to find out that Mystery lived locally. It was surreal to think that the characters of the game, which I had just finished a couple weeks ago, were living around me.