First, I knew I was doing what I was supposed to be doing with my life by being in the community. I genuinely believe that The Game literally falling on my lap that one day on set was a sign that I was meant to do this. At the time, I had no intention of becoming a pickup artist who travels the world helping guys. I was happy working in the entertainment industry.
Then, only two weeks after reading The Game and meeting up with Havok, my first wing, I met Mystery, Matador and Lovedrop. A few days later I went to party with them at Project Miami. It didn’t take long for me to become enamored with the world they live in, and that night at the party I told Mystery I wanted to be apart of it. I really wanted to help people.
Late that night outside the house, Moxie gave me advice that I followed: Don’t get sucked into their world. There’s more to life than pickup. Mystery, Matador and Lovedrop were obsessed with game. It’s all they ever talked about. They never mentioned their families, had any friends who weren’t in the community or had any sort of life outside of game. They spent their days focusing on the business end of VA, and their nights chasing girl after girl after girl. All these guys had trouble keeping girls in their lives because there was very little realness to any of them. When you go out and recite routine after routine, you’re conveying a fake self that will prevent any kind of relationship — especially a romantic one — from blossoming.
Before I moved in the house, when I went out with Havok, I tried routines. But every single time, they would run their courses and I wouldn’t have any material left. So I reverted to being myself. That’s when I generated my best results. Talking about ‘who lies more, guys or girls?’ never got me laid. Guys who use routines should realize that they are crutches; eventually you should be yourself. A lot of guys think being themselves won’t work. Truly being yourself means you’re not operating out of a place of fear, particularly the fear of rejection. You need to realize that rejection doesn’t have any effect unless you let it. A girl can tell you to fuck off, and you’re going to wake up the next morning with the exact same life.
I try to instill in the minds of my students that a cold approach can only affect your life if you succeed, and bring a new girl into your life. When you embrace that truth, you will stop operating out of a place of fear and be able to have unhindered interactions with women. Remember, not everyone will be open to talking to you, and that’s alright. If a girl, or group of girls, doesn’t want to talk to you, it’s probably because of reasons that have nothing to do with you anyway, so don’t take it so personally.
I really did admire the way that Mystery could break down game to an exact science, but I never understood how he could let it consume his life like it did. Sometimes I would hear him in his bathroom talking, reciting routines to himself. I think he had this fear of being alone. Even when there were no people around, while he was alone in the bathroom, he had to keep running game. I never let the community dominate my life like that. I always made an effort to see my family, and friends who weren’t pickup artists. I never lost sight of the life I had when I was just Sal, before Speer existed. That’s a big part of why I eventually became known in the community as a master of lifestyle. The fact is, you don’t need to rely on tactics and techniques as much when you have an attractive lifestyle that is always drawing new people into your life, especially women. I tell my students they should have two social events to potentially go to lined up every single day. These should be things that you’re interested in. That way, you’re always meeting new people you have things in common with, and other people you meet — like girls in the club for instance — can be invited along, and they can get a better sense of who you are and what kind of life you lead.
There’s a lot more that I teach today that differs with a lot of the stuff I used to teach and run myself when I worked with VA. The truth is, pickup can be much more efficient when you take out the fakeness that has traditionally been involved.