The next day I had a job fixing someone’s computer. Jamie said she was going to head to her mom’s house to do laundry. She still wasn’t back when I got home and the laundry basket was sitting out front.
I asked one of my roommates Nick where she was.
“I don’t know,” he said. “She just dropped the laundry basket off and didn’t say anything.”
About four days went by and Jamie was still gone. And I was panicking, I was lost. I really didn’t know which way was up and which way was down. I had no sense of closure for whatever was happening. It was the first heartbreak I ever experienced and I felt I had to do something.
I kept calling Jamie but she never answered. So I tried her friends, but I couldn’t get through to anybody who knew where she was. I spoke to her mom, who said she swore Jamie wasn’t at her house, but I didn’t believe her.
So one night I climbed up to Jamie’s second story room at her mom’s house in Plantation and broke inside. She wasn’t there, or anywhere else in the house. Some of our mutual friends tried to cheer me up, including Chandra.
One night, when Jamie had been gone for over two weeks, I was on my way to a movie with Chandra and one of her friends. I couldn’t stop sobbing, and she had to pull the car over so I could throw up on the side of the road. I had been crying and throwing up regularly after Jamie left.
“She’s not worth it,” Chandra said.
“What would make you say that,” I yelled back.
“Because she’s boning Tommy. That’s where she’s been all this time.”
And I’ll never forget those words. At that moment, I stopped being depressed and I went into a rage. It’s funny how emotions can turn on a dime.
I called Tommy’s house. His sister told me he wasn’t home. All I could think about was how I was going to beat his ass. He was supposed to be my friend. How could he fuck Jamie behind my back, especially after I let him stay with me? Later that day I called Jamie again, and she finally picked up her cell. She told me she was flying back to West Virginia with her mom and that we would talk after she returned in two weeks. I was such a wreck that I moved out of the trailer and back into my mom’s house, in the midst of the worst heartache I’ve ever felt, even to this day.
My mom got me a job selling fake crap in an art gallery as I waited for Jamie to come back. It wasn’t how I wanted to spend my time but I knew I needed to get out of the house. In between helping customers I would go into one of the gallery’s back rooms, throw up and cry.
Finally Jamie flew back to Florida and we agreed to meet at the Sawgrass Mills mall. Upon seeing her, just like that, I went from feeling depressed, betrayed and enraged to falling in love with her all over again and wanting her back. All I could think about was how I wanted to have kids with her and buy a house with her.
But she said we couldn’t get back together. It seemed like she wanted to, and I didn’t understand what was holding her back. I asked her if she fucked Tommy, and she said no. And I believed her. She lied to my face. I don’t know if she was ashamed, or afraid of the consequences but she lied to my face the entire day. But I didn’t care at the time. I was just happy to have my girl back.