I recently have been doing a Q&A on our forum. Someone asked me a few questions I thought might be helpful to a lot of people.
I love questions like these. I will address them each for you.
1.) How important is good looking or expansive clothes? Do you need to be really good dressed, like a banker or so? Or do simple cool looking hip hop style clothes are good enough? Or is there a special style of clothes you all think is important? I mean for regular street games (I guess you call it street game if you chill while going downtown and you are surrounded by girls, so you start some approaches). Sorry but I´m just new to all this. I study Pickup knowledge just since about 3 months and it takes time to get really into it! ;o)
A) Style is a taste that depends on the girl. What you need to do is figure out what type of girl you want to go after. If you want a high class club girl you need to dress like you belong in a high class club. If you are going after emo girls you should look like a rocker type that is a bad ass and so on. What this comes down to is more a sexual stereotyping that you want to portray. Find the girls that you are attracted to. Dress just a little better than the guys that are in the venues that they frequent and run your game on them.
2.) How important is it to be shaved as a guy? I like to be shaved without a beard but I like it if I got a little 3 day beard. So is this something that’s good or bad?
Q) This too depends on the girl and what look you are going after. Some guys look good with a 5 o’clock shadow some do not. Play around with it. I personally know I do not. For me it is important to shave. If unsure ask a girl her opinion. If you are just starting out it is better to shave.
3.) What kind of perfume + deo really is hot for a guy? What’s really the good stuff? ;o)
Q) Deodorant is a big deal so you don’t smell bad. In general any deodorant will do. Most girls are not going to smell your arm pits. You would probably want cologne, personally I use Allure. It smells good, not to fruity, and not too much like after shave. It seems to be a good balance for me in my experiences. The thing is that smell might have a reaction depending on multiple factors that might not even have anything to do with you. A safe bet is ask a cute girl what her opinion is about the different colognes, or asks the girl behind the counter. It is an easy opener.
4.) What are the worst things you can do and what are the most important best things you can do while a girl is around you?
Q) The worst things you can do is be incongruent with who you are. Girls will spot that you are trying to be something you’re not. Best thing you can do is take the best qualities and make them better. Talk about things you have actually done not something you read out of a book. If you have jumped out of a plane, talk about that experience and how you felt during that situation. Always talk to her on an emotional level.
5.) Compliments – some pick up artists say it can be fatal to make compliments because you end fast as the nice guy. Many pick up artists say be a bad guy but what kind of bad guy? Do jokes about the way a girl is styled or what? I need more information, please! ;o)
Q) Compliments are fine. You don’t want to give her too much though you want to keep it all like a balanced scale. If she gets something good you get something good in return, compliment for compliment. There is a common misconception about being the bad boy for people starting out. They think I need to bring girls down with “negs” yes they can be useful at times to balance out your perceived value. Yet why would you change an interaction running smoothly by being a huge downer. That just takes the energy from the group.
I would like to make a distinction here. There is “negging” that will blow out or get you thing balanced right away. You will see an instant reaction on the girl and her friends. Then there is teasing. Teasing is light and playful. Teasing is great because it brings the fun aspect into the conversation. As for the whole bad boy persona, it is what you have done and your attitude toward life that’s the bad boy that people and pick up artist need to understand. Not the words they say. If I look like someone that sits in front of a computer and follows every rule and plays it safe… I probably do. No matter what I say. On the other hand I am have the same job and I am constantly wearing things to express myself, and do things that involve a little risk like jumping off the stratosphere in Vegas. That is more of a bad boy. His actions speak; he doesn’t even have to say anything.
6.) Girls like to be around serious guys who make them feel good, nice and amused, but isn´t this trigger that puts you into the friend zone? How nice should you be? Where are the limits? All kind of girls always ask me directly to drink something with them and I should pay the beer. Last time 2 girls saw me on the street and one I knew a bit, so both said lets drink something together. The one said I should pay the drinks so I said “I should pay? Well, this time you will pay!” with a cool smile and she said “Oh well, how you like the idea that I pay your beer and you pay her beer, so we all pay for each other?” and she smiled also. The situation ended fast because I lost fast my interest and just looked amused at both girls and I walked a bit out of their radius. They shouldn´t think they can have me that easy. They went after all to another guy. He´s cool, but he doesn´t get it that girls just use their sexual attractively to get drinks for free. So he was so stupid and paid their drinks and after they got what they wanted bot went away while he was left alone. I smiled about it. Girls are clever and it’s always an intelligent game they play, they trick you or try it, but if they see they can´t trick you they start to respect you. Next time after this, a few days later, the one was again drinking a beer with this one guy, but her eyes were the whole time on me while he was standing alone. That’s so smart how girls act. I think guys shouldn´t take the next best girl. A guy should be someone special and act like that. Cheap guys exist already enough; they try to fuck all girls so they waste all money they got and after all the girls kiss other guys (the expansive guys).
Q) Yes girls like to be around guys that make them feel good. If you’re making them laughs you are now able to escalate. They can’t think when laughing your only laughing. If you do not escalate verbally and with touching you put yourself in the friend’s zone. If you are not moving the interaction forward it starts to move backwards. She will think you are not interested in her sexually. Now if you are moving it forward she will backwards rationalize that she likes you since only people that she likes touch her in those ways.
As for drinks I don’t drink. If a girl asks me to buy her a drink I usually say something like you get this one and I will get the next one. That way if the interaction goes sour they have invested you haven’t. In addition if it is going well they’ll forget most the time too. Worst case scenario they finish their drinks and since they are now cool you can use that as a justification to buy it. They have invested you must invest then too.
7.) What kind of psychological profile do girls like on guys? The angry and dangerous kind of guy with a little bit of an aggressive facial expression? Or the soft sensitive guy? Or the more amused guy with humor? Or a guy that talks just a lot? Or should you play the “I got no interest in you but you can try it to get me!” guy? Is it clever to talk serious or is it wiser to talk primitive like about sexual things? Or maybe this will make girls run away?
Q) This once again comes down the girl. No 2 girls are the same. What you need to do more than try to narrow it down for every girl is narrow it down to the girl you’re talking to. This is calibration. This is what social dynamics is all about. If she is fine with going sexual awesome, then you go sexual with her. You say the same exact thing to another girl then you are going to get a different reaction. She may not even want to go sexual. Some like serious conversation. Some like comedy. If she is in a party mood, she wants to have fun. If she is sitting solo and looks sad. She is probably sad. Relate to each girl and talk to them with thing they want to talk about. Tailor the conversation.